Frustration can be a very challenging emotion. For many people, frustration means having a want, need, or longing for something that cannot be had in this very moment. In this post I outline the practical reasons we experience frustration, and strategies for keeping it under control.
Read moreWhy it Can Be Hard To Ask For Help
Have you ever had a sense that you might be a burden if you shared your problems and struggles with other people in your life? This is a very common experience for people to have. In this post I explore reasons why people feel this way, and challenge the assumption that asking for help is necessarily burdensome.
Read moreResponses, Effects, and Taking Responsibility
In this post I focus on one issue that comes up a lot in my counselling work: the distinction between effects and responses, and how differentiating between these notions is crucial when it comes to how we assign responsibility for our own and other people’s feelings and actions.
Read moreUnderstanding Your Inner Critic
There’s a certain type of criticism that people often talk about in therapy. Some people call it “self-criticism”, others call it “the inner critic”. So why do we experience inner criticism? In this post I explore some common themes from the many conversations I’ve had in the therapy room with folks concerned with their experiences of self-criticism.
Read moreThe Hidden Value of Self-Sabotage
Sometimes striving to do things differently can be downright daunting. The changes we want to make can require us to go out on limbs that feel unfamiliar, uncomfortable, and even unsafe. It's under these circumstances that folks sometimes label their responses as "self-sabotage". In this post I unpack common assumptions about "self-sabotaging" behaviour and expose its hidden value.
Read more3 Common Misconceptions About Boundaries
Boundaries serve important social functions, but there are many misconceptions out there around what those functions are. In this post I draw on conversations from the therapy room to expose and discuss 3 of the most common misconceptions.
Read moreDon't Judge Resistance by How it Appears
Whenever we come up against adverse conditions or mistreatment, we resist. Sometimes the ways people resist are misleading: they appear to be negative or self-harming, but are actually important acts of self-care. In this post I take a closer look at how so-called "negative" emotions, actions, or attributes can serve the purpose of resisting adversity.
Read moreAnxiety and Social Exclusion
There are many contexts in which people experience anxiety. One that is very common relates to the threat of social exclusion. In this post I look at the ins and outs of what some folks call "social exclusion anxiety".
Read moreWhen "Depression" Doesn't Sum it Up
Over the past several years, I've noticed that the term "depression" has become more and more commonplace in mainstream culture. With so many people using "depression" to describe their experiences, I can't help but wonder if we’re all talking about the same thing. Has “depression” become a catchall term for a whole range of experiences?
Read moreMental Health and Being "Normal"
A lot of people I see in therapy come in under the premise of wanting to be normal. They see their position outside of the margins as having a lot to do with their suffering. For this reason, I often wonder just how useful of a concept normalcy really is. It can be used in well-meaning ways, but does it do more harm than good?
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